Funny Story
So working at a hopspital is definitely an eye opener to the side rawness and fraility of human life. the postives and the negatives. I am a humble secretary who works behind the scenes entering in doctor's order and ocassionally bringing blankets or ginger ale to patients. Many instances I get mistaken for a nurse and asked medical questions on such instances was last night. I answer the patient's call phone at the desk and this elderly black male patient could not clearly tell me what he needed so I proceded into his room to get a clearer answer. He said "Let me show you something." I said "Ok" hesitantly. He then threw the sheet off and whipped out his frank and beans and said "Does this look ok to you?" pointing at the catheter that he had in place. I said "I don't know sir is it bothering you?" trying not to die of laughter. (My experience relating to male anatomy if very very limited) "Let me go and get the nurse" I said as I scurried quickly out of the room. Needless to say the next five minutes or so when he called back in and his nurse asked what he wanted, I said "I'm not sure, your turn to check."

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
I have always been into the study of gender differentiation, societal impact, nuture vs. nature. It has turned oh I guess ever since my parents divorced into an interest in relationships and interaction between men and women. Lately I have become a relationship book junkie. Currently I am reading a book on commited realtionships by Dr. John Gray the bestselling author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. He has a very interesting theory that I am eager to comment about. He thinks that a woman's needs in a realtionship has changed over the years. Back in the stone ages women needed to feel physical security. Times were dangerous, and they weren't strong enough to protect themselves and their young from wild animals. Then it progressed into financial security. Women became mercernary, marrying a man that has the most because they believed that they could provide the most, for them and any children they had. Now, it evolved into emotional security. There is a shift that has been occuring, a redefining of gender roles. Women no longer need physical security (we can buy guns), Women no longer need financial security (we can earn to support ourselves and our children). What women are looking for in men today is that they support them emotionally through their actions and words. We desire to be allowed to express our feelings within the confines of the relationship without any repercussions. If we have a bad day, we want our significant other to actively listen and offer sympathy and support. If we are have a major case of pms we want our man to pick us up some chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough with out having to ask him. We want a husband, out of respect, to ask us before buying the new panasonic 50" wide screen (because the jvc one might just be a little bit better ;) And because of the new needs our relationships have new problems. Gray said that men are having to reprogram their natural way of thinking to adapt to these needs and it ain't easy for em.

I was listening to Casting Crowns' album Lifesong today. The song is called "Praise you in this Storm" and the chorus is:

I’ll praise You in this storm

And I will life my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I’ve cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I can't explain what it meant hearing this and feeling the truth that poured out on me. What trials we face everyday whether big or small and how we vainly wrap ourselves with them thinking that we are left all alone to face it. How many tears have I cried in my 23 years? I don't know, but God does because He was there to catch each one.

Pheww..
I made it through this week! Starting a new job can be a little stressful, having to learn your way around, make new friends, not to mention learning the skills you need to do the job. A couple of times I thought, I can't do this. There is no way I can learn 350 medical terms, how to transcribe orders, and what's what and where's where in a week. Everytime I thought that, Philippians 3:14 kept popping up in my head "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And the pressure just lifted, I know I can do it and in the process I will become stronger. I like the fact that Jesus is my number one fan.

You Know What?!?

I have come to realize that my blogging doesn't necessarily have to be umm whats the phrase...oh i guess awe inspiring all the time. Its my blog so I can write if I want to. Hmm.. what to write, what to write...Well I'm starting a new job on Monday. A clerical job at a hospital. I'm looking foward to it because it will be an entirely new field and I get to wear scrubs! How cool is that! I'm doing it because I really would like to pursue and IT career in the healthcare field and knowing a little about the industry helps. I went to Ross, bad Becky bad, and got a really cool sweater/jacket for only $8. If I wear it 8 times, it would be like $1 a wear! Ummm...I tried the new pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks. It is ok but not my favorite, I like the gingerbread. My sweetie sent me a gorgeous miniature yellow rose bush for our 3 month anniversary! I moved in with my Dad and he just moved into a new house so there are tons of boxes to be unpacked. I asked him "When can this be expected to be cleaned up?" He said "A couple of weeks." Formula to translate into real time:
"John Howell time" x "procrastination" + "other important stuff" = "real time"
So "3 weeks" x "4 weeks" + "another 4 weeks" = " probably sometime next year."

Pride and Prejudice is Coming!!!!!!!!

For all you Jane Austen afficionados, I know you all are about to pee in your pants with excitement like me. I am a little skeptical about Keira Knightly playing Lizzy, I have heard good reviews though Jennifer Ehle really did set the bar. And nobody, I mean nobody, could ever replace Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. However I am definitely counting down the days till the release-hot off the press the U.S. release is bumped up to November 11. For more info on the movie check out:
www.austenblog.com
www.prideandprejudicemovie.net

My Spiritual state is a thin transparent thread,

With delicate stitches binds my earthly heart.

Fragile as it may be,

It does not damage;

Some supernatural Being still holds it.

Though it may sin,

For sins are inevitable (like Summer turning to Fall)

It shall not falter.

Not by inch,

Nor by foot.

Memories with God
I am reading a wonderful book called "Believing God" by Beth Moore. I read something the other day that really spoke to me. I am going through what I like to call “My Foyer” period. See, I like to compare each phase of my life to a certain room of a house. My younger years-I was in a nursery, high school-living room, etc… right now I picture my self in a foyer waiting to turn the knob and step outside into the real world. Well in this period of my life I have been experiencing some uncertainties, I know God has a plan for me, a path to follow but I just want to be sure I’m on the right track. Anyways Beth Moore talked about God’s promises to us and His faithfulness in fulfilling them. She talked about how we make memories with God based on our past history of knowing God and seeing him work in our lives. She said “He has undoubtedly been faithful to you, and your active remembrance of His faithfulness yesterday will greatly increase your willingness to trust Him today.” That sentence made me stop and think about all the times God has been faithful to me. One memory was when I was looking for an internship and He found one for me, another was when I was looking for a job, He came through also. Replaying those memories, re-living the doubt and anxiety, then letting the problem out of my control and into His hands refreshed and helped strengthen my confidence and trust in the belief that God is not only faithful, but that He is Faith.

BLOG UPDATE

There Brandon! I wrote on my blog. Are you happy now? Hehehe. :)~

How special is it to have someone wrap their arms around you. We humans crave physical touch- a pat on the back, a hug, even a kiss. Just meditating on this led me to the thought of the heavenly touch. Since I enjoy a earthly embrace, how much more wonderful will it be to be finally in the arms of the Lord. What comfort, security, and love I will find there.

I had a very special weekend with a very special person. And I would like to thank him for his laughter, talks, and patience with this very bad terrible pool player. Brandon I miss you! Not really, I'm just writing this so you will think I do.

G.I. Julie

Julie, my sis, just graduated from Basic Training. I am so proud of her!!!

The cursed moon mine eyes doth spy

Clouds and stars bosom it with false ambition

Bewitching rays illuminate the sky;

Evoluting from the man with damned pretensions

Innocence is innocent to its evil ways,

Gaze it not upon the imperfections of

But wanton mystery and desire in it lays;

Blameless' errors thus affect of spell

No clover nor horseshoe serve as brave talismen

Its worth outshines seven times impoverished glass

All blame yields until the sight of him

Those that knowledge gained fashion him crass

Even naive in my youth I fathom his wicked mode,

I'll not venture out

Time better spent

Wasted on a toad.

Biggest Fear III

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? “ Psalms 56:3-4
The answer is exactly that. “What can mortal man do to me?” The world’s opinion means nothing, it is temporary, changeable. Its estimation of my character is written in sand and can easily be blown away. “In God I trust”-not humankind. For eventually my actions, whether self-serving or not will be accountable to Him and only Him. He is the ultimate judge.


Biggest Fear II

Ok so here it goes my biggest fear......Not being considered a genuine person. And that is all encompassing. Now I know that I shouldn't really care what my peers think but lets face it, it is human nature, a human desire to be liked. What I mean by not being considered genuine, is that my actions viewed by others, is thought to be fake. That people might think that I am not a real Christian, that I am not a honest, trustworthy person. That I have alternative motives for any act of kindness or any show of love. I am afraid of being judged, afraid of falling short of expectations and disappointing others. How can I keep this from happening? How can I turn this fear into an act of bravery? I need more time to think, hopefully by the next post I will have reached some supposition.

Biggest Fear
I was asked not to long ago "What is my biggest fear?" The answer that I gave was in a fact a fear of mine but after meditating on that question, it appeared probably next to last on my list. In trying to identify number one, I came to this conculsion: A fear is of the future. It is something that is assumed to be foreseeable, if a certain path is taken or decision made. And since you know what you are afraid of (and that you view it as having significance) it is your decision to either confront it now in the present or wait around for it. I can't recall where I heard this from, but it has really stuck, "You can't be brave unless you are afraid." I say it to myself when ocassionally, maybe, I might still be afraid of the dark a little, or a disgustingly big roach just happens crawl by me. Eww. More about fears on the next post.

Christina

That is Christina on the left. Isn't she beautiful? Well of course you can only see her on the outside but I have had the wonderful opportunity to see her on the inside. And trust me she is nothing short of remarkable. I mean this girl can not only make you laugh at her but make you laugh at yourself as well. She is a talented sketcher, plays the trumpet, and can burp louder than any boy. She one of my bestest friends, my roommate, and my sister in Christ. Watchout guys, if you are interested in her, you have to get through me first. And I can be quiet intimidating.

You Might Be a Dork If.....

Your choice of a category in a drinking game is "Classical Music Composers."

You only buy a cell phone for its games.

You are saving up to upgrade to a 64bit processor.

You know what a Liger is.

The Calm before the Storm
Growing up in Alabama, I experienced multiple Tornados and Hurricanes. My Mom would rush into my room at night, if she heard the warning sirens, and gather me up still clinging to my pillow and put me in our hallway closet. The morning after would usually bring reports of destruction and devastation. Death of family members, homes destroyed, and precious memories lost. The look their faces showed defeat and hopelessness but every once in a while a person would look into the camera and tell their story of loss but instead their eyes showed something of gain. This gain is the strength of their faith. Of having realized that this obstacle can be overcome, of having realized that the same God who created the storm also blesses us with a Rainbow after. Seeing that trust in them has in turn encouraged me to view a mighty squall the same way that King Lear does, with a clinched fisted pointed upward and a shout "Blow wind and crack your cheeks."

Staci May and Becky Jo

Sportin our Red, White, and Blue for the 4th of July. I had an awesome time.

B&B

Brandon an I in a coffee shop in Lake City, Colorado. "How did you end up sitting in such a ruggedly handsome guy's lap?" you ask. Well I'm just lucky, because he let me.

San Destin

Christina and I took a small weekend trip down to San Destin with some friends.